These past two years have been the most challenging for couples who were already struggling to raise their families. Most of us get by from one paycheck to another; when two bread earners become one and children are required to learn from home, creating the need for babysitting and parental guidance, an already difficult marriage becomes more intolerable with the added stresses and lack of privacy.
If you found yourself in this situation, realizing you and your spouse could no longer get along, making the decision to get a divorce without ample funds to support it is a big hindrance. For people in these circumstances, divorce mediation rather than a divorce lawyer makes the most sense when feasible.
How Does Mediation Work?
Mediation is a great alternative to a traditional divorce but is not right for everyone. Mediation is best for couples who can hold civil conversations and can agree to work together to iron out the points of their agreement. In fact, if you can begin the process of listing terms you can agree to and bring that list to the mediator, that information will assist the mediator in determining how many sessions will be required.
The mediation process is a process of consulting to assist couples in talking through different parts of the agreement such as finances, support, custody, and visitation. If you can make progress at your sessions, mediation is the quickest path to a divorce agreement and will cost the least amount of money. If at any time one of you becomes hostile or refuses to negotiate, your mediator will recommend you each seek out your own attorneys. A mediator can only help you when you are willing to work together.
At your initial appointment, the mediator will evaluate what needs to be accomplished and come up with a schedule of consultations to work through the agreement.
If one of you owns a business and an audit is required to determine the value of the business, the mediator may bring in a third party to conduct an evaluation. Mediators often collaborate with other professionals to resolve questionable areas, primarily related to finance.
When you work through all the points of the agreement, the mediator will ask you to each have an attorney sign off on the agreement. Depending on your starting point and how complicated your family and financial situation is, a mediator can guide you through the process in as little as a few weeks.
If more people knew mediation were a peaceful, less expensive option, they would probably seek the advice of a mediator prior to meeting with an attorney. When you work with attorneys, their goal is to get you what you want, but the path there is often difficult, highly emotional, stressful, and expensive. Lawyers tend to fan the fumes and cause more contention than necessary which lengthens the time it takes to complete a divorce. And, of course, the longer the divorce goes on, the more money the lawyer makes and the more stressful the divorce is for you and your family. Whenever possible, avoiding litigation is the better way to get divorced and will lead you to new freedom and your future faster and less painfully.